Rolling Stone Article: An Epilogue to Swimming to Cambodia

I felt that Swimming to Cambodia and the Rolling Stone article, written by Spalding Gray, are very connected. The article seems to be a kind of afterword to the book in a sense. Throughout the book, one of the overriding themes that I picked up on is Spalding Gray's longing and desire to be a better person than he already is. He is constantly searching for his "Perfect Moment" and expresses uncontrollable urges to assert his power and control over situations, even though he rarely does. It is evident that he craves something more.

One recurring scene in the book that demonstrates this idea is Gray's marijuana smoking. Every time that he smokes marijuana, he becomes extremely paranoid and becomes unable to remember what happens to him. He sometimes vomits or curls up on the ground. It is clear that he is unable to handle the experience. However, despite his past run ins with this drug, he voluntarily smokes again and again. This is because of his search for the perfect moment. He feels that if he can try any and everything to give himself a perfect moment he can become a kind of hero and gain a more worldly sense of life and who he is.

Another element in the book that I noticed a few times was Gray's desire to fight back. He accepts the persona of someone who is not overly violent or aggressive, but eventually reaches a breaking point where he feels the urge to "make a stand." As opportunities present themselves, however, Gray continues to think "why rush it?" and put off his stand until another day. He goes on to reach his breaking point and hurls a glass bottle against Renee's loud neighbors' door, but proceeds to run in cowardice. Despite his wanting to stand up for himself and tell the entire world how much of a man he is, he is unable to fully act out his ambitions.

I see the Rolling Stone article as elaborating this theme that the reader finds in Swimming to Cambodia. Gray's piece in the magazine discusses the idea of fame and how he does not like it. While reading his book, I did not ever really think that what he is seeking for is fame, but, looking back, I think that it might just be the perfect word. I felt that Gray wants to become a superhero in Swimming to Cambodia, and it is extremely interesting to see that he acquires a celebrity status later, but goes on to reject it. He does not like feeling out of control of his own personal life, which happens when one becomes a celebrity of any kind. As he discusses his experience of performing on a proscenium stage at the Brattle Theatre in Cambridge, MA (10 minutes from my house, in fact), He relates how exciting it was to feel wanted and desired by the audience, yet he felt the need to pull back from this fame for some reason. Despite the fact that he had expressed his longing to be wanted by other people and to be respected by society for so long in Swimming to Cambodia, Gray finally achieves a bit of this and decides he does not want it. The article acts as a very curious epilogue to Swimming to Cambodia, solving some of the central issues that arose in the book.